metamorphos-ish

Dear Blog


I'm mastering the art of being busy like a pro.  I've changed jobs about half a year ago, I'm (still) moving from one country to another, I'm changing lifestyles from being a university hippie with converses on (which are actually dirty, and not sprayed on neatly by the company to make me look like I don't care) to a smart-ish casual-ish adult-ish women-ish. Well, my looks are actually the same (except the hygiene upgrade), but my mindset has been hit big time.


Like.. this constant to do list I have rolling mad in my head. and on my laptop. on my mobile. on neon stickies. on notepads that happen to be around when a must-to-do flashes up in my head. It takes a whole hour just synchronizing them all. Now, I am not confused by the usual multi-tasking, I could have been awarded an honorary degree on multi-tasking anytime within the last 5 years. What's strange about this new to do list is that it wakes me up at night. It makes my heart twist and ache. It literally leaves me short of breath. The oldie pro's tell me that "it's just stress" and that "it happens..". They tell me to "look after" myself and that I shouldn't "let it get to" me. An that's exactly what I'm trying to do nowadays..  


First of all, I swallowed the fact that weekdays are reserved for work & sleep only. After 9pm, I can still do the dinners-out and sometimes shows but spending the evening at home today really is the smartest way to ensure a happier tomorrow. Under the circumstances, I became homy. and started some serious cooking. Right now there is a complete ecosystem in my fridge with all the plants with weird names and chopped off animals and nuts of every color and cheeses of all flavours. And when you have that many ingredients, plus the inherited cultural backbone that is based on solely eating, aaand a food oriented family, you can never go wrong. It's an hobby that a Turk cannot fail. Even writing that makes me wanna go mix the brownie basics. It can't get any easier. 


Other than cooking, as a restless-homy, I friended soft background music like the one below, I friended magazine-reading, home-made spa teraphies, occasional home parties, painting...  no I didn't take up yoga yet. I don't feel that bad. and no I didn't start photography or change my facebook photo to a picture of me and my loving SLR. Those will come in my thirties. But the homy peace that circumstances have pushed onto me in my middle-twenties, feels good. Lowers the tension. Possibly increases my changes of living a couple of weeks longer, at home. as an old knitting lady with a dozen cats swirling around. OK, that's enough, I'm going out.